Dotleven

Today as it happened, I was wondering How it would be if I could be myself, the one who I was, the one I lost long ago, the one who was boisterous, the one I would have been if I hadn’t came to Kashmir. I miss myself too much. I h miss my friends, my home, my life, my freedom and the thing I miss the most is my laughter. The recklessness, the wandering along with my friends, the hangouts, the school bunkings, the riverside walks, the carrom games, the so-called group studies, everything that I enjoyed at home. I miss those days. I miss Myself. I want to be me again, I want to go home, I want to hangout with my friends, I want everything that I had, Once. Only if I could…….. Missing Myself Be who you are, not what others want you to be. Because once you lose yourself, the You will be desperate to be what you were, but will not be able to.

That's now one those boring days that I hate much. The days of working are such integral part of my day to day life that a day off makes me bored and miniac. And all thanks to Mr. Geelani of Hurriyat here. He calls strike and people like me suffer the delay in their work. I am now thinking that I was right when I opted for dual Graduation, and part time work. Study keeps me busy enough on the off days and work on the days on. I like, not just like but love to work. The days when I work are the best days of my life here in Srinagar, but the most precious moments are the ones that I had spent with my friends back in Kolkata. I miss those days and envy my friends for their group, for I have neither friends nor any kind of group so that I could enjoy. I miss my Malgudi Days. I miss my life, I miss myself. Hope that my Grad gets over soon.

Today I spent my day in vain. I did go to work, but did nothing. I did everything but did nothing. I went to the Mahajan’s School for sorting the network problems there but I didn’t because there wasn’t any! I did every other thing that I could do like solving out the hardware problems and things of the sort but didn’t do the work that I was meant to. And the bigger loss that I faced today was that I was not able to go to the University of Kashmir, for the Class of Web Designing, and more to the fact that the students had came to the class, another of my loss, that my reputation is getting lower. Hell to that! Now I will try to cope with the burden that I have took up on my head.

Finally half he examination is over and they have started the party for the failing candidates and I am gonna join it at the first chance and It would be such a relief! I fear not in the correct sense. Three papers, namely Maths and Science foundation, Computer Fundamentals and Maths in Computing. And Maths and Science and Maths in Computing reminds me that i am fail in those subjects. The papers hat remain are Technical communication, Programming Fundamentals with C Language and Digital Electronics, I hope myself to qualify those examinations. And if  didn't, I would have to get my butt ready to be kicked by at least 20 persons. May the GOD help me.

The Exams are on their course, and Yesterday was the first exam for the First Year students of the UG courses held under University of Kashmir. The First paper for the students of BCA 1st year was the Maths and Science Essentials, The Paper most dreaded by the students and that has finally passed. This Exam was most awaited also by the students and the paper was not that tough. Even I think that I could scrap much marks so that I could pass this exams. This was one Paper, Still there are five more, including another maths, another dreadful subject. So, it's better if we start our preparations for the coming papers. 

The Countdown for the examination hour has began and its just less than 72 hours for the first examination paper for the students of the BG Courses’ first year. the first exam is on the 18th of this month and the atmosphere is growing highly charged with tension especially for the students of BCA first year who have the most dangerous paper on the said day, Mathematics and Science. This subject has took the most unfriendly position amongst the students because the maximum number of backlogs in the first year in this subject. I personally feel the tension as I have not allowed a single hour of silence which could help my Moral Condition, and all thanks to my classmates for that. I feel that i may switch off my mobile and take a long hot bath, and then start for the revision of the Maths Paper.

There It Goes bad again. The thing is that My Exams are starting on this saturday, i.e. 18th April, and I am taking the exams of the students of the Web Designing Course at DLL, Kashmir University. The problem is not the exams but the way they have replied to the exams. They have done very bad and I can't help them, and the same is gonna happen with me and I am afraid that i might fail in my exams, but there are better things too. I would not think of failing but to pass clearly so as to the next year of my Graduation goes flawlessly. May the God be mercifull.